Mother's Day

My favorite Mother's Day memory comes from about 1992. I was working nights on the weekends and, after working Saturday night then going to church, was sleeping on Sunday afternoon so I could go to work Sunday night. The next thing I knew, there was Jarom (all of 6 years old), standing by the bed, screaming his head off and he was covered in blood. He had been riding his bicycle while carrying a cardboard box and had biffed it on the sidewalk. All that blood came from a cut on his lip about an inch long which required stitches and a call-in to work (sorry, can't make it tonight). It was a test of my ability to be the cool, calm, collected mother. I think I did well. (I didn't faint or throw up, so I figured it was all good.)

I'm amazed at how stressed out men get over Mother's Day gifts. Are women that shrewish, materialistic, and cruel that a simple card or even just a kiss and a hug isn't enough? And the jewelers certainly don't help. "Lovely diamond earrings for that special mother....show her how much you love her....spend $1000 on her" (oh, and if you don't? Trouble in paradise, apparently.)

I could do without Mother's Day. I love my mom. I think she knows it. My kids love me. I think I know it. Why have a day where everybody gets freaked out and crazy?

But, then, perhaps it's a good thing for us to have a day where children feel obligated to call and chat or do the dishes. I think I like it. Guilt is a wonderful tool for getting things done.

Sick

No, I do not have the Swine Flu. I have something worse. Maybe just the regular flu - or the giraffe flu - or something. But whatever it is certainly should be reported to the CDC as something nasty, although when I called the doctor to offer myself up for a nasopharyngeal swab he said, "even if it is the Swine Flu what would we do for you?"

Well, how would I know!?!?

He certainly seemed cavalier about the fact that I was getting ready to croak. Oh, well....best to stay out of the news, I guess.

After taking four days off from work and wasting three days of vacation time, I feel marginally improved. I keep waiting for the Relief Society president to show up with loads of compassion and something yummy to eat and then I remember....oh, yeah....I'm the Relief Society president. Bummer.

Today I've been in that limbo zone. Too sick to go to work or really enjoy anything I like to do, but not sick enough to sleep all day. So, I have spent entirely too much time wasting time, engaging in activities such as:

1. Straightening and alphabetically organizing my bedside medicine collection which includes:

a) Tissues
b) Thermometer
c) Tylenol
d) Mucinex
e) Augmentin
f) Vicks VapoRub
g) Hall's Cherry Lozenges
h) Ricola drops
i) Zicam
j) Saline nasal spray

2. Shopping online and buying this book on North Carolina barbecue (like I needed it...):



3. Looking online for ideas of yummy things for Kent to fix me to eat, such as:

Fried okra



Or a nice slice of homemade coconut pie:



4. Reading a book about the Enders Hotel in Soda Springs. (Of all the exotic, beautiful, amazing places to read about and I settle for a book about Soda Springs, Idaho).

5. Spending entirely too much time on Facebook.

6. Staring into the pantry and refrigerator.

7. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and wondering how many e-mails I have at work now that will need to be answered on Monday.

8. Constantly reminding everyone who gets within six feet of me to stop breathing and wash their hands with Clorox. This has worked so far. I'm the only one that's sick (knock on wood...).

It is true that nurses make the worst patients. I am living (barely) testament of that. Hopefully, tomorrow will see continued improvement. I hope so. I'm out of things to do.