Mother of the Year

I know lots of great moms. But today I am convinced that I should be chosen for the Mother of the Year Award. Here's why. We are having a birthday party for Joshua, so in the basement I currently have:

• 2 X-box 360's,
  
• 6 bags of assorted chips
  
• 4 liters of Orange soda
  
• 6 smelly 14 and 15 year old boys.
  

They are noisy. They eat non-stop. They have rearranged the furniture and spread sleeping bags out everywhere. I've already warned them about spilled drinks, crunched Doritos in the carpet, and any other minor or major damage that might be done. They're having a great time although the cats have gone into hiding.

So, that made me start thinking of all the other things I've done that qualify me to be Mother of the Year. I'm not sure who runs these contests and who votes but I'm going to list some of my qualifications anyway:

• I panicked only slightly when 2 year old Katie got stuck under the bathroom counter. I showed great restraint in not taking an ax to the counter or calling the fire department.

• When Joshua was 4 years old I put him on a school bus with 10 year old Sariah for his first day of kindergarten and her first day of 5th grade. Neither one had ever ridden a school bus before. I only suffered a minor migraine over it, indicating my great constitution for withstanding such traumas.

• I allowed Jarom to bring home any and all strays - both of the animal variety and of the girl variety. I tolerated whatever it was they liked to eat - including vegan chocolate cake and Little Friskies.

• I left that same Jarom standing in Los Angeles all by himself at the age of 19 because his dream was to attend the L.A. Recording School. By Las Vegas I had mostly stopped crying and after that I only had sporadic moments of nervous breakdown.
  

• Not long after that I left Katie standing in the Missionary Training Center because her dream was to be a missionary. 18 months is a long time when you're on the front end of it.

• Although I've never greeted my children at the door after school with warm chocolate chip cookies and cold milk I have endured practice on multiple musical instruments including the drums, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar (acoustic and electric) and things you wouldn't normally consider to be musical instruments such as large straws and trash from construction sites.

• I have never once negatively reacted to friends with unnatural hair colors or piercings.

I could go on, but I think you'll agree. I should be Mother of the Year.

Shopping Despair

I have just spent a lovely two hours out shopping with my beautiful daughters. They were quite successful. On the other hand I came home in despair. Is it something about being middle-aged or is there just nothing to wear? I slipped into Christopher and Banks. A purchase there would have made me look as middle-aged as I feel. I followed the girls into Wet Seal and everything there is designed for 15 year olds. Ice cream might have made me feel better but when the temperature is 2 degrees it's really hard to get too excited over anything but hot chocolate.

Where are the clothes for us in-betweeners that don't want to look like teenagers but don't want to look like frumpy middle-aged women either? I don't expect an answer. I don't expect there is one.

So, I gave up on clothes and bought a lovely new comforter for twenty dollars. Really! Twenty dollars. And a lime green decorative pillow for my bed. I love it so much. I just wish I could wear it.

Wii Fat...so Wii Fit

The latest fun in our house is the Wii Fit. Yes, I know....we're way behind the times but without Jarom here it's tough to be connected and powered up. I'm not sure if the Wii Fit has made me feel better about myself because I'm getting off the sofa, or has done immeasurable damage to my self esteem by constantly offering comments like: "You put your foot down, didn't you?" and "Your leg is a little shaky." (I likened this to Kent's very helpful comments to me when I was in labor and he, ever observant of the fetal monitor, would say things like "you're having a contraction".) Yes, I know my leg is shaky, thank you very much.

We've also spent some good quality family time trying to knock each other out in boxing. Now THAT'S therapeutic. But, often, we don't do our best because sometimes the remote doesn't work right. This is happening quite a bit, actually, especially when the game is getting increasingly competitive. I'm thinking we might need to go buy new ones because their poor performance is seriously affecting my ability to beat Matt in tennis.

So, this is the dress that everyone's talking about. I'll admit I didn't really like it. It looked like a cross between a prom gown and a Halloween costume I wore once where I was supposed to be a sheep and glued cotton balls all over a white sweatshirt for effect. One of my most memorable experiences is visiting the Smithsonian Institution's exhibit of dresses that First Ladies have worn to inaugural balls. I couldn't get enough of it. Apparently, I'm not alone.

However, it is equally interesting to me that Michelle Obama is a woman with degrees from Princeton University and Harvard Law School, she's a former associate dean at the University of Chicago, and prior to landing the position of First Lady she was a vice president in the University of Chicago hospital system. No small credentials there. So, I did a quick search of CNN which revealed the following "headlines" about Mrs. Obama:

• Michelle Obama Fashion Debate
• Dressing Michelle Obama
• Inauguration Style
• Fashion expert critiques Michelle Obama's dress

All that intelligence, experience, and competence and all the media can find to talk about is what she's wearing to the dance. Amazing.

Giving in to the feeling

So, I've decided that I will never be a complete person until I follow the example of the enlightened people in my life and have my own blog page. I have fought the feeling for long enough and have decided to dip my toe into the water of online thought-sharing.
The page is, obviously, a work in progress and I welcome all criticism as long as it is sandwiched in between phrases of loving praise and glowing adoration.