Mother of the Year

I know lots of great moms. But today I am convinced that I should be chosen for the Mother of the Year Award. Here's why. We are having a birthday party for Joshua, so in the basement I currently have:

• 2 X-box 360's,
  
• 6 bags of assorted chips
  
• 4 liters of Orange soda
  
• 6 smelly 14 and 15 year old boys.
  

They are noisy. They eat non-stop. They have rearranged the furniture and spread sleeping bags out everywhere. I've already warned them about spilled drinks, crunched Doritos in the carpet, and any other minor or major damage that might be done. They're having a great time although the cats have gone into hiding.

So, that made me start thinking of all the other things I've done that qualify me to be Mother of the Year. I'm not sure who runs these contests and who votes but I'm going to list some of my qualifications anyway:

• I panicked only slightly when 2 year old Katie got stuck under the bathroom counter. I showed great restraint in not taking an ax to the counter or calling the fire department.

• When Joshua was 4 years old I put him on a school bus with 10 year old Sariah for his first day of kindergarten and her first day of 5th grade. Neither one had ever ridden a school bus before. I only suffered a minor migraine over it, indicating my great constitution for withstanding such traumas.

• I allowed Jarom to bring home any and all strays - both of the animal variety and of the girl variety. I tolerated whatever it was they liked to eat - including vegan chocolate cake and Little Friskies.

• I left that same Jarom standing in Los Angeles all by himself at the age of 19 because his dream was to attend the L.A. Recording School. By Las Vegas I had mostly stopped crying and after that I only had sporadic moments of nervous breakdown.
  

• Not long after that I left Katie standing in the Missionary Training Center because her dream was to be a missionary. 18 months is a long time when you're on the front end of it.

• Although I've never greeted my children at the door after school with warm chocolate chip cookies and cold milk I have endured practice on multiple musical instruments including the drums, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar (acoustic and electric) and things you wouldn't normally consider to be musical instruments such as large straws and trash from construction sites.

• I have never once negatively reacted to friends with unnatural hair colors or piercings.

I could go on, but I think you'll agree. I should be Mother of the Year.