Onward

Five months after making the decision to move, the moment I had been dreading finally arrived when the movers showed up last weekend.


The big tractor trailer pulled up Friday morning and I have to admit I had to get my Big Girl Panties on about what was coming. We've been through this before with professional movers, so I knew what to expect. But this move is just so....well.....difficult...that when I saw that great big truck I had to go find something to do in the basement for a few minutes to save myself from an embarrassing display of emotion.

The movers were very professional and very careful but they are there to do a job, after all, which is to pack up everything we own and haul it away. It's just so, I don't know, intrusive that there's really no way to get through it except to just do it.

Hating it doesn't change it.

Of course, (because Murphy loves me so his law reigns supreme in my life most of the time) a realtor wanted to show the house in the middle of all this chaos. So, between three strangers tromping through my house putting everything in boxes and three more strangers tromping through my house to see if they wanted to buy it, I realized that I had had enough of all these people invading my privacy and disturbing my home.And they were getting everything so dirty.

So I left for a little while.

When I came back, the realtor was gone and I felt a little better. Sometimes one just needs a little space and then coping can continue.

After the chaos was over and the movers were gone, of course I had to do some cleaning. It was so empty and quiet. Very weird. With all the comings and goings of our family members and friends over the years that house has never been quiet. Until now. I had the same feelings I had when we cleaned out my grandmother's house after she passed away. It was such a difficult thing to do that I just wanted to get out of there, and yet, I never wanted it to end because I knew that once it ended I would never be back again.

However, it's behind me now and we are one big step closer to being re-settled. How I would have loved to have stayed in that beautiful home. When we moved in, Joshua was only 10 years old. Sariah went on her first prom while we lived there. Katie left on her mission from that home. Sariah and Jarom made their first steps into independence out the front door that made rainbows everywhere when the sun shone through it.  Katie and Matt started their married life there then brought little Caleb home from the hospital for a few days until Katie could climb the stairs to their apartment. Joshua's friends kept an extra toothbrush there because they practically lived with us on the weekends. We celebrated 6 Christmases there, 7 Independence Days, 42 birthdays, held one great big Later Family Reunion, and said goodbye to our sweet little Shirley kitty who had been with us for almost the whole time we have been a family.

No wonder I'm having a hard time.